The Lil’ Bean series is a group of nine paintings which honor Life of the Not-Known. The series begins with birth and ends with death, begins with abstraction and metaphor and ends with literal, concrete, unflinching reality.
By combining environmental elements with symbolic abstract renditions of the fetus (also known as The Lil’ Bean), an exploration of the Not-Known passes through various stages and states of being.
01 : tree rings
curved, textured edges patterned in a cyclical formation
age, old growth, spring
02 : blue sky sister moon
the act of catching a glimpse of the moon during the day while clouds pass by
serendipity, chance, temporary serendipity, chance, temporary
03 : bloom
gentle waves, soft petals in shapely rows
(takes the edge off of blunt psychedelic/psychic inflections)
good vibes, love, flow
09 : warmth
still life, memory, dark, death, dog
09 : warmth is a still life of a memory. One night, I was driving around Eagle Rock to go to a St. Patrick’s Day dinner party. In the passenger seat was a tray of homemade, chocolate mousse I made with Baileys. Running late, I drove slowly around the neighborhood, braking suddenly when I spotted a dog running across the street. It’s leash dragged behind.
I pulled over and followed it for what seems like less than two minutes. I went to stop it from crossing the street, expecting to grab the leash and steer it to safely when a car drove into it. I screamed; the dog yelped, thrown into the air; the car kept going. I ran over and crouched in the street, the dog was still breathing, I was crying and I kept saying “Oh my god” over and over again, trying to hold it…there was no blood, just heavy breath, I didn’t know what to do, I kept yelling for help, no one came, every single car that passed had its headlights on us but nobody stopped, eventually the dog’s breathing slowed, stopped, just quietly gone, and a woman from across the street came over and tried to comfort me, she invited me inside so I could wash my hands. Her home was friendly. I think she had the same name as my mom. We found a box and put the dog inside. She called animal control and I drove while shaking and crying to see my friend, who didn’t believe me, and thought I made the dog up.
Light in the shape of a fetus can be seen in the dog’s pupils.